Indian Summer: Months Three Through Seven

As I noted in the post below, all kids suck for the first several weeks of their lives. But, at some point, your child will no longer suck. The constant crying will subside. She or he will start non-fart-related smiling and pulling on your finger in recognition of who you are instead of based upon innate reflex. The kid will start taking a lot of naps during the day. Awake for an hour or two; asleep for an hour or two.

Coming out of the dark hell of the first few weeks is a glorious, glorious thing. A glorious thing too many first-time parents squander. Listen to me closely. This is it. This is your window; your opportunity to be seized. The last breath of fresh air for many, many, many years. Your dome will be grey when you get to breathe this fresh air again.

It is at this stage that your child, while asleep, is basically an extra purse. A cute purse. An expensive purse. A very important purse. But a piece of luggage nonetheless. And where can you take a purse? I’ll give you three guesses! Give up?

YOU CAN TAKE A PURSE ANYWHERE!! On a bus, train, car or aeroplane! In the ubiquitous car-seat carrier, your kid can go to a restaurant, your kid can go to a sporting event, your kid can go to a bar; some people even take ‘em to movies and get away with it.

So get out of the house and do stuff! At this point you have no idea how disruptive and destructive a 1-year old can be, walking around tearing shit up. You can’t take a 1-year old anywhere.

Right now you have a small, immobile, easy-to-care for purse that you have to dump milk into once and awhile.

So get the hell out of the house! Hop the in car and drive down the highway 150 miles to a friends’ house for the weekend. DO SOMETHING. It’s the last chance you’ll have for quite a while. The coming winter is 18-years long.